If we were having coffee today I would let you know I am sorry I missed out last weekend, but as I briefly wrote life was giving me a hard curve ball and all I managed to do was to breath and not give up!
I managed it pretty well when I look back today. Instead of having a week long meltdown, I had a 12 hours meltdown before I managed to create solutions. I calmed down very fast, by Monday afternoon I was calm as never before. Because I had decided that my rules this time was the lifeline I needed to stay sane. It was what I needed to be able to believe that I was capable to solve the issues and be the best mother I could be. To all three of my kids.
I think what made me calm wasn’t my furious 10 year old, but my scared 5 and 6 year old. They had to sleep with me on Sunday because they were so scared. And they haven’t slept with me in forever! Leon stopped the summer we moved here and Lily when she was 2, and next month she turns 7! So it shook me. Deeply. And I knew Monday morning that everything forward would be about not ending up in that situation again, with any of the kids. Not only Lara. But I also know there are no guaranties. But all I can do now is to try my best to avoid that situation again.
If we were having coffee today I would be so grateful for your company! I miss adult company when life throws me a curve ball like that. And if you remember I had a little rough time before this happened too, so when Lara ran away I felt like life was giving up on me, like I could just give up on life too. And it made it clear that I again had no one to talk too. No adults around.
But honestly when I think about it, I miss adult company on other good days too. So being able to work and see my coworkers kept me sane this week. And it might sound crazy, but on Tuesday I actually spoke up about what happened at home. And I was petrified that everyone would think I was crazy! But instead others told me about similar situations in their homes. Relief. My kid is not unique. Our situation is not unique. We actually sound like a pretty normal family when other share their stories with me. And it just helped me to stick to my rules. To stay calm and to just breath. Because she fought my rules. Monday night she fought. Tuesday – all day long! Wednesday morning. Then only after school on Thursday for a small hour. And nothing this weekend. She now sees that I am not giving in. But I can reward her, and I did so today when she mopped her bed room floor and tidy it from bottom to top!
If we were having coffee today I would most likely have baked you a cake, just because I feel happy on the inside and then I like to bake. I have been thinking about baking for the kids all day, but instead I have cleaned and organized their beds. Lara had a horrible bed situation going on, and she has reclined my offer to give her Lily’s bed, so Lily and Leon could share the bunk bed, for a year now. But today she accepted! And Lily and Leon’s bedrooms got so much better too with smaller beds and more floor space. A win-win for all three 🙂 (sometimes mum’s or dad’s knows best, but it is just in the kid to fight it.. I know because I can be the same 😉 )
Yesterday all three of them had a great time outside in the fresh snow (that luckily are gone today!) and I made them hot coco with chocolate cookies. In the evening they where all bundled up in Lara’s bed telling stories and laughing. It was so nice to see their friendship and love for each other ❤
If we were having coffee I would tell you that I had a great work week too, I am a bit sad that the next upcoming weeks are only practice work and bachelor assignment work. I love my student life, but I know the next month and a half will be very stressful! But at least I will be teaching English for all those weeks, and that is a great bonus!!
If we were having coffee I would also tell you that I miss my dad a lot right now, but I know he is really enjoying his vacation in Chile. And in reality I just want to travel right now, so I might just be jealous that he is out there having fun and enjoying the heath 😛 In June we will be going to Spain, and when we leave I will have accomplished to finish my bachelor assignment and 5 exams! That will be a great reward. Beach life and sun, happy kids and some amazing food and shopping! Just what I need after this spring, because it will be hard work to manage to get all this reading, writing and studying done. But I can do it. And I know you would tell me the same. The goal is so close. So close. I will not give in. I will keep pushing, and I know I have you backing me up! Thank you!
Did you have a good week? What are your plans this upcoming week? I hope you are planning some fun ❤ take care, lots of hugs xoxoxox