Frustration!

So I have this urge to write, but there is so little time! There have been many years since life was as busy as it is right now, and some days I wonder if I really like it like this… Some days I don’t even know what the day is or how to get through everything I have to do!

Image result for burning my candle at both endsAnd in some ways I know if I stay on this track I will hit that horrible dark spot again, the one I have stayed clear from for over 2 years now. It’s not like I feel it coming, but I just know that if I keep burning my candle at both ends it will happen. So how does anyone find the balance between excitement and relaxation? The balance between giving and receiving? The balance to live happily in high speed and slowing down when needed?

I definitely don’t have the answers yet! But I know that I have taken some small steps to change my environment to help me find the balance. This last weekend I changed out my yoga space in my bedroom with an office space. Because honestly, I never did yoga in my bedroom after I created a yoga space in the living room. Image result for easelAnd who needs TWO yoga spots in one house LOL 😉
So now its22.41 pm and I’m not crawled up in bed yet, I am sitting in my office space and writing. And it feels great to have this time by myself. To do what I love! Because before I got this space I went to bed when the kids did around 9 pm and watched movies and just slept. My office space was then in the hallway and I made to much noise for the kids to sleep and I felt uninspired sitting alone in a long dark hallway. Now I have my stuff all around me and I can light candles and incense sticks and just enjoy writing, or even paint if I feel like it 🙂 All I want from Santa now is an easel, that would make my personal space even more fun!!

So hopefully I will be around more, and I am also looking forward to writing more about my inner journey over the last 6 months. It has been a lot of changes, and I feel ready to share some of it soon ❤ And hopefully I will be able to start sharing on the Survivers blog too soon ❤

See you around soon!

 

 

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Day 24 of gratitude!

Today I am simply grateful to be living in a time where I can write my thoughts and feelings down and share them with like-minded people who support me and encourage me to live my life authentic and from the heart.

I have always loved writing, and even though it some days feel hard and my brain feels empty, as soon as I touch my keyboard there are words forming from my fingers. My heart speaks. My soul speaks. And I heal.

Thank you for reading my words, and for helping me heal ❤

Day 10 of gratitude..

I have really been feeling ill this weekend, so I have done literally as little as possible all weekend long. BUT I had an assignment that needed to be done today, and with my special gift of procrastination, I had not yet started.. But 11.50 pm I delivered it. It is probably not great, but it is a start! And hopefully, I only need to rewrite it a little bit 😛 So today I am thankful that I managed to get that done despite my fever and horrible body pain!

I will be back with coffee shares next weekend, now I need to find my bed ❤

Sunday song 🎹

 

Today I’m also enjoying winter sports on my tv 🙈 I’m hooked! And soon Norway is playing the final in the world championships of handball! It will be a triller, but the Norwegian team can do it! I’m a true patriot 🇳🇴🇳🇴

In between I’m trying to find my Christmas mood, so here is a beautiful Christmas song to all of you 🎄🎅🏼❣

“Santa Tell Me”

Santa, tell me if you’re really there
Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
‘Cause I can’t give it all away if he won’t be here
Next year

Feeling Christmas all around
And I’m tryna’ play it cool
But it’s hard to focus when I see him walking ‘cross the room
“Let It Snow” is blasting out
But I won’t get in the mood
I’m avoiding every mistletoe until I know
It’s true love that he thinks of
So next Christmas
I’m not all alone, boy

Santa, tell me if you’re really there
Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
‘Cause I can’t give it all away if he won’t be here
Next year

I’ve been down this road before
Fell in love on Christmas night
But on New Year’s Day I woke up and he wasn’t by my side
Now I need someone to hold
Be my fire in the cold
But it’s hard to tell if this is just a fling
Or if it’s true love that he thinks of
So next Christmas
I’m not all alone, boy

Santa, tell me if you’re really there
Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
‘Cause I can’t give it all away if he won’t be here
Next year

Oh, I wanna have him beside me like oh-oh-oh
On the 25th by the fireplace, oh-oh-oh
But I don’t want a new broken heart
This year I’ve got to be smart

Oh, baby
If ya won’t be, if ya won’t be here!

Santa, tell me if you’re really there
Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
‘Cause I can’t give it all away if he won’t be here
Next year

Santa, tell me if you’re really there
Don’t make me fall in love again if he won’t be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
‘Cause I can’t give it all away if he won’t be here
Next year

Day 109/110 of gratitude!

1525575_10153624404860212_1302359594_n

Been down in a rut over the last couple of days so all I have wanted was to eat and sleep. I managed to stay away from eating, but I did sleep. Not sure what triggered it all. But I know I am worried about my upcoming exams, stressed about Christmas (finances) and very irritated about my own feelings regarding my ex.

So there has been no blogging and no living, only existing. And as I was sitting here at my computer eating my breakfast and scrolling down on FB this song came on:

And what a song!

It just hit me in my heart, HARD! There is not enough time in this world to stop living! SO today I’m not allowing my mood to drag me down. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself.  And most of all I am not going to let myself get dragged into negative thoughts about my Christmas finances and gifts. What we give this year may not cost a lot, but it comes from the heart ❤

And I hope with all my heart that the kids will appreciate next years great adventures too and hopefully not be upset about not getting any more toys from me, coz really they have enough 😉

So, let’s all keep fighting for a great day, a great month, a great Christmas celebration, a new year! Let us all keep thinking positive thoughts about ourselves and others! Love can change everything ❤

Weekly guidance 🔮

  This weeks guidance is yet again from Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentines Archangel tarot deck.

This deck is just speaking loudly to me these days and my personal cards always give me great guidance too.

Hope you can get some encouragement or hope through this weeks guidance.

Love and blessings to you all ❤

Weekend coffee share ☕️

weekendcoffeeshareIf we were having coffee today I would tell you how much you mean to me and that I’m grateful to have you as a friend.

I would tell you that the world feels like a very scary place right now. But on the other side it feels like I’m living in a bubble. When I see the terror in the news it feels close but still far far away. I guess it’s because I’m not traveling at the moment, and we are living in the middle of nowhere. But I guess there can be attacks here too.

But its important to me to not feel scared, because if I do let fear into my life right now it might drag me into my darkness again. The last four months has been really positive and good, So I try to stay away from everything that can change my current balance. But I would tell you that it doesn’t mean that I’m hiding from the truth, I’m just not absorbing it completely.

If we were having coffee today I would also tell you that I had two awesome weeks at my school doing my teacher practice. I learned a lot and I found out that I’m feeling much more confident this year than last year.I would also tell you that I’m struggling with my subjects for next year, because I want to be able to work and I might have to take some subjects I don’t have on my priority list just to make my schedule available for substitute teaching. It’s not subjects I don’t find important, it’s subjects I was planning to take later on in life.

But it’s OK I’m used to change and I’m used to adapt to my circumstances. The main goal is to finish my education so I can apply for a steady job and fix my financial situation once and for all.
If we were having coffee today I would tell you I was soooooo close to get out the Christmas stuff today, but I managed to stay away from it. It’s way too early. Instead I got all the kids outside and we tidied up the yard and now we are ready for snow and winter. I’m super excited about Christmas and I can’t wait to get ready to bake and decorate two weeks from now.

12241443_10153586242721005_566271382677028455_nIf we were having coffee today I would also tell you that I’ve thought about this Paris situation a lot regarding my kids. Since we don’t have the TV on in our house much they have no clue what has happened, and I am not sure what to tell or not to tell. So right now I’m not saying much. And hopefully they will be OK. Because there are so much horrible stuff going on in the world, there are terror attacks not only in Paris but many many other places too. And I just want to protect them from the horror and let them live in ignorance for as long as possible.

And earlier today I was changing my picture on Facebook to the one with the filter of the French flag. But then I realized later what about the other countries flags? Why doesn’t this happen when other countries are attacked? So I had to change it back. And then someone commented on praying, he said something about stop all the praying there’s enough religious issue going on. But I pray, not because I’m religious and believe in a God. I pray that humans will take responsible choices, I pray that humans can put love before war,I pray that we as humans can stand together for peace.

And lastly before we end our cozy coffee chat I will tell you I have faith in the human kind. I have faith in love. And it might sound childish and stupid, but I believe times will get better.
So how have you been doing, are you safe where you are in the world? Are you physically safe? Do you feel safe? My love is with you, always and forever ❤️

Sunday song 🎶

This song doesn’t fit me at the moment, but the lyrics did some years ago

and her voice is one of my favorites.So even though I don’t have

a broken heart any more I can feel this song deeply and it heals in so many ways.

Hope you enjoy it too!

I Don’t Wanna See You With Her lyrics

It’s a small town
Word gets around
And travels in circles
Through hoops over heard-offs
Everyone is careless
They talk about our mess
They don’t care how it hurts me
Must think it was easy

They say you have a new love
I’m happy for you, love,
I just don’t wanna meet her
Are you gonna keep her?

‘Cause I don’t wanna see you with her
I don’t wanna see her face
Resting in your embrace
Feet standing in my place
I don’t wanna see you’ve moved on
I don’t think that I’m that strong
It hasn’t been that long
Since I was the one in your arm

I don’t like being sober,
That’s when it hits me it’s over
Although it was my choice
I can’t shake your con voice
Saying you’ve found one,
That makes you feel all strong
And helps you through hard times
‘Cause that job was once mine

They say you have a new love
I’m happy for you, love,
I just don’t wanna meet her
Are you gonna keep her?

‘Cause I don’t wanna see you with her,
I don’t wanna see her face
Resting in your embrace
Feet standing in my place
I don’t wanna see you’ve moved on
I don’t think that I’m that strong
It hasn’t been that long
Since I was the one in your arm

I don’t wanna see you with her
I don’t wanna see you with her

‘Cause I don’t wanna see you with her,
I don’t wanna see her face
Resting in your embrace
Feet standing in my place
I don’t wanna see you’ve moved on
I don’t think that I’m that strong
It hasn’t been that long
Since I was the one in your arm

Source: http://www.lyricsontop.com/maria-mena-songs/i-dont-wanna-see-you-with-her-lyrics.html

Weekend Coffee Share ⛄️☕️

weekendcoffeeshareIf we were having coffee today I would tell you that I am looking forward to Christmas! And that it is a really strange feeling! Because only 5-6 years ago I Didn’t really like Christmas. I actually preferred to not celebrate Christmas. But I had to since I had kids. But last year something changed.

I’m not sure what changed. But I had a really great time last year. And now it’s November and I’m already getting excited about decorating, baking and celebrating!
And honestly I’m not gonna bake that much or have a lot of people over, but there’s something about the waiting and the expectation and the decorations it just gives me a happy feeling.

And really I should dread December since I have two final exams then, but I’m not worried. I’m going to make it, just know I will.
If we were having coffee today we would most likely have it outside in a coffee shop with comfy chairs since I am needing some time out of the house lol The house is a mess and there’s laundry everywhere, so I would just be happy to have an hour outside this house right now. Maybe even two hours😉
I would also tell you that I feel so comfortable in my teacher training right now. And I can’t really remember why I was so nervous last year! But I guess being a substitute teacher also has help me to feel more confident. Last week the principal even observe me teaching and it went really fine! And she gave me great feedback afterwards! A year ago I would have died inside, but this year I just decided to be me and trust that I’m good enough!
If we were having coffee I would also tell you that I’m not really doing great with my diet or lifestyle changes… I eat every third hour, I even have an alarm on. But I just feel like I’m eating and eating and eating and eating! And I’m starting to lose faith in this process…. But I have promised myself to give these two full months a really honest go, so there is no option to stop eating right now. The only thing I need to focus more on is my sweet tooth.


I know that you would support me and that you believe I can do this. So I’m not giving up, but I will tell you it’s hard right now. On the other side I’m back on my yoga mat and it feels great. There’s not much I can do since I can’t use my right arm. But I’m trying and just doing what I can feels really good.

I would also tell you that I know I need to move more. And I’m thinking about starting to go for walks every now and then. But I’m so scared of the dark that I haven’t been able to try yet. I know it might sound as an excuse, because I really hate walking also!

But on the other side I’m not loving my shape physically, so maybe I just need to push myself and just walk. Because how bad can it really be? And who would take their time to attack me in the middle of the night all out on the countryside? Not that I really need to go out in the middle of the night, but it’s so freaking dark early now that it feels like the middle of the night at 6 pm 🙈

If we were having coffee today I would ask you how you were doing? I would ask you if you’re excited about Christmas?

Sunday song 🎧

 
This week this song has crawled under my skin. The lyrics feels close and yet unfamiliar too. Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday ❤️

Adele “Hello” lyrics

Hello, it’s me, I was wondering
If after all these years you’d like to meet to go over everything

They say that time’s supposed to heal, yeah

But I ain’t done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?

I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be

When we were younger and free

I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

There’s such a difference between us

And a million miles

Hello from the other side
I must’ve called a thousand times

To tell you I’m sorry, for everything that I’ve done

But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I’ve tried

To tell you I’m sorry, for breaking your heart

But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore
Hello, how are you?

It’s so typical of me to talk about myself, I’m sorry

I hope that you’re well

Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?
It’s no secret

That the both of us are running out of time
So hello from the other side

I must’ve called a thousand times

To tell you I’m sorry, for everything that I’ve done

But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried

To tell you I’m sorry, for breaking your heart

But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

Ooh, anymore
Ooh, anymore

Ooh, anymore

Anymore…
Hello from the other side

I must’ve called a thousand times

To tell you I’m sorry, for everything that I’ve done

But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I’ve tried

To tell you I’m sorry, for breaking your heart

But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

Source: http://www.directlyrics.com/adele-hello-lyrics.html