So getting back to writing feels perfect in my head, but it is way harder to actually get it done! And I feel deeply that I need it, so why is it so hard to just do it?

I guess it is like my studies too, I avoid it as long as I can even though I know I need it. And just like last fall and the fall before that I question my studies. Did I make the right choice? Should I stop this subject and instead take another one?

I am so afraid of failing and not being good enough that I put myself in this corner of fear. I tell myself everyday that I have made the wrong choices all along. And in the end I finally believe my evil voice..

So how can I be trapping out of therapy when I know I still are hurting myself in my head? Well I hope I now have the tools to take care of the healing and to clear my mind when it happens instead of falling into the well known dark hole.

The hole I seem to crawl at every fall.

Why is it like that? Why does the fall that I love so deeply also bring the darkest times in my life?

Well I guess it must have something to do with the heat and light that slowly disappear.ย ย Maybe I’m not a fall person after all? Maybe I’m really a summer girl? Maybe seeing myself as a fall girl has made it okay for me to nurture my need of hiding and being alone?

What if I am a summer girl that loves people and loves the heat?

Well I do love the light and I do love the sun, the beaches and the sand. But I know in my core that I am an introvert. SO the people is okay, but I will never love the public. But having more people in my life is a goal, so maybe I can see myself as a summer girl that loves some attention and some happiness and joy ๐Ÿ˜‰

Life is funny, and when I take my time to sit down like this to reflect I see that I am okay. That I am where I am supposed to be โค



Yoga in Spain in June/July this summer was amazing! The kids even asked me if they could do some poses around the neighborhood we lived ๐Ÿ˜‰

I hope we are able to go back next summer!

And it is fun to see how much my body has changed since then! Its only been 2,5 months, but I see the difference!

I will write more in a separate blog post about what I have done to change my appearance so much over the last 6 months, not only on the outside, but mostly on the inside โค Healing happens when you least expect it โค


Day 28 of gratitude ๐Ÿ’ก

I had a little awakening at my therapist today! I realized I had survived two social gatherings and one school gathering without having a meltdown!!! 

I managed to stay centered and balanced in all those three events. And today it dawned on me that I feel more confident and comfortable about myself. 

Change. Such a blessed change. And because of this I know I will manage my body changing when I set my mind to loose weight too! Now I just need to set my mind ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป


Day 40 of gratitude โค๏ธ

My boy โค๏ธ today i had a very uplifting conversation with his daycare, and he has had good progress since they started to observe him last spring!!! it just makes me so happy and peaceful that my gut feeling is telling me the same ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป I believe he will manage great next year when he start school as long as he is allowd to keep being himself โค๏ธ