Keeping it very simple tonight. Had a long day with group therapy and individual therapy. On top I wrote over 3000 theory words on my bachelor assignment 👍🏻😃 so good to have finally gotten words out of my mind and down on paper! In addition planned English classes for tomorrow and next week! Also helped Leon get through a mini breakdown. So keeping it simple and just feeling grateful for life and how it moves forward when I at least expect it too 🙏🏻
Coworkers who generously gives me a ride when my car is in for a check up!
One day turned into two days 😳 so tomorrow me and the kids are walking to daycare and school at 6.45 am 😝 it is lucky for me that the girls can stay with their great grandma until school starts and I get a ride with my coworker 👍🏻🚗
And my English classes today went smoothly 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 it was amazing to use what I had created and feel that great ownership to what I taught today 💫
My plan was to ramble about my hopeless “am I a friend-material” situation. But instead I spent all my energy on my school assignment! SO now I am just happy that I am done four days before the deadline! So I delivered it before I started to rewrite and stress about it, and tomorrow I start on my English class planning for next week. FIVE weeks of English, so much fun.. hopefully 😛
B U T I am not done with the “friend-material” thoughts, so I will get back to it tomorrow 😉
Had a good chat with my therapist about it, so I definitely have changed my perspective, but I still have many words to say about it 😛
Went to bed really early again last night so forgot to post my daily gratitude post. Not really sure why I have been so tired this week, but have just been needing a lot of sleep. I guess going back to work after many weeks at home had something to do with it too 😉 In addition group therapy AND individual therapy in one week is pretty exhausting!
After individual therapy yesterday I figured out that group therapy is okay right now. Even though the first time wasn’t great, I learned that I have moved passed some issues I didn’t even think about until yesterday. Among those are communicating with men without feeling stressed and also being able to not talk to much about myself in social gatherings because I’m nervous. Now I manage to stay quiet and happy 🙂 So at the end of April I will hopefully know if this was enough or if I need some more therapy. I’m currently leaning towards finishing it off, but time will tell I guess.
Today we had planned to go out skiing, but since it’s raining 😦 we had to cancel it. So instead I decided to clear out the messy room we had in the basement. It was packed from top to bottom with junk! But I desperately needed a cozy place to have the Nintendo Wii, as my living room has been a Super Mario zone for several weeks now and my mind needed a break 😉 So now the basement is set for gaming and the kids are super happy. And I can enjoy my living room with the fireplace and candle lights again. YEY!
Lastly I had to confront another issue today! My pedagogical class has been stressful to me because I don’t enjoy group work that much. And last year I got a pass on the group work. But my teacher this year doesn’t want to understand my anxiety and is just pushing me hard. So hard that I have several times over the last month thought about ending my education. But when I get close to canceling I manage to take a breath and not give up. So when she wrote me again yesterday and felt upset about me not participating in group work I decided to just try to reach out to my class mates. We have only one lecture left, so I will do my best. So now I can join another group next Friday. And I will not eat my way through my anxiety, but I will stress and feel horrible. But I am going to let myself feel it all, and hopefully it will pass. And hopefully she will let her worries be too. Because when I have to work together with coworkers I never get this stressed. SO I know I can handle the occupation. I know I will be a good teacher, despite hating group work as a student!
So overall my gratitude over the last couple of days are towards myself. My strength to move passed obstacles even when it gets stressful, and that we have this perfect home that gives us all stability and comfort.
Today has been so busy! So I am posting this as I am going to bed, very aware of the weekly guidance that should have been done today… I will not beat myself over that, and get it done tomorrow ❤ Today was a great work day, F O U R classes of English just makes a dream day for me 😉 Tomorrow I am teaching English again!! SO happy about that. In addition my dad arrived safely in Chile and my brother hung out with the kids as I attended a parent-teacher meeting.
Grateful for this life we are living at the moment, and all the change I have experienced after I moved her in 2014 ❤ And grateful that a new fresh month is upon us, lets make this a great month!
As I am trying to figure out my bachelor thesis the house is a complete crazy house! Kids are screaming and fighting and they just cant make anything work! So now I have forced all of them out in the snow! Hopefully they will last more than 30 minutes so I can enjoy some quiet time and get my head into this. But first some music to drive the stress away 🙂
Have a great Sunday!
After all you put me through,
You think I’d despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
‘Cause you’ve made me that much strongerWell I, I thought I knew you, thinkin’ that you were true
Guess I, I couldn’t trust called your bluff time is up
‘Cause I’ve had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames ’cause your greed sold me out in shame
After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you’re wrong
‘Cause if it wasn’t for all that you tried to do, I wouldn’t know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I’d realize your game
I heard you’re going round playing the victim now
But don’t even begin feeling I’m the one to blame
‘Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies ’cause you’re wanting to haunt me
But that won’t work anymore, no more,
‘Cause if it wasn’t for all of your torture
I wouldn’t know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you’ll see
I am a fighter and I
I ain’t gonna stop
There is no turning back
I’ve had enough
You thought I would forget
But I remembered
‘Cause I remembered
You thought I would forget
‘Cause I remembered
Some posts will be short, some long, the most important thing will be to find everyday gratitude even in the darkest moments☺️
So today I start my day with gratitude towards myself! Over the last 24 hours I have revived to A’s in my English studies!!! I’m not chasing grades, but English is my favorite class and I really wanted to prove myself! Because I’m usually a happy C/D student 😉
If we were having coffee today I would tell you how much you mean to me and that I’m grateful to have you as a friend.
I would tell you that the world feels like a very scary place right now. But on the other side it feels like I’m living in a bubble. When I see the terror in the news it feels close but still far far away. I guess it’s because I’m not traveling at the moment, and we are living in the middle of nowhere. But I guess there can be attacks here too.
But its important to me to not feel scared, because if I do let fear into my life right now it might drag me into my darkness again. The last four months has been really positive and good, So I try to stay away from everything that can change my current balance. But I would tell you that it doesn’t mean that I’m hiding from the truth, I’m just not absorbing it completely.
If we were having coffee today I would also tell you that I had two awesome weeks at my school doing my teacher practice. I learned a lot and I found out that I’m feeling much more confident this year than last year.I would also tell you that I’m struggling with my subjects for next year, because I want to be able to work and I might have to take some subjects I don’t have on my priority list just to make my schedule available for substitute teaching. It’s not subjects I don’t find important, it’s subjects I was planning to take later on in life.
But it’s OK I’m used to change and I’m used to adapt to my circumstances. The main goal is to finish my education so I can apply for a steady job and fix my financial situation once and for all.
If we were having coffee today I would tell you I was soooooo close to get out the Christmas stuff today, but I managed to stay away from it. It’s way too early. Instead I got all the kids outside and we tidied up the yard and now we are ready for snow and winter. I’m super excited about Christmas and I can’t wait to get ready to bake and decorate two weeks from now.
If we were having coffee today I would also tell you that I’ve thought about this Paris situation a lot regarding my kids. Since we don’t have the TV on in our house much they have no clue what has happened, and I am not sure what to tell or not to tell. So right now I’m not saying much. And hopefully they will be OK. Because there are so much horrible stuff going on in the world, there are terror attacks not only in Paris but many many other places too. And I just want to protect them from the horror and let them live in ignorance for as long as possible.
And earlier today I was changing my picture on Facebook to the one with the filter of the French flag. But then I realized later what about the other countries flags? Why doesn’t this happen when other countries are attacked? So I had to change it back. And then someone commented on praying, he said something about stop all the praying there’s enough religious issue going on. But I pray, not because I’m religious and believe in a God. I pray that humans will take responsible choices, I pray that humans can put love before war,I pray that we as humans can stand together for peace.
And lastly before we end our cozy coffee chat I will tell you I have faith in the human kind. I have faith in love. And it might sound childish and stupid, but I believe times will get better.
So how have you been doing, are you safe where you are in the world? Are you physically safe? Do you feel safe? My love is with you, always and forever ❤️
Tomorrow this girl turns 10! I’m so proud of her ☺️ today we had a teacher – parent conference and the feedback is excellent 👌🏻she is at the top of her class and finally her social time at school is going smoothly too 🙏🏻
On top of this her dance teacher just called me and asked if she could join the more advanced dance group because she feels Lara really could do a more complex dance routine!! Feeling so blessed, even though none of my kids are perfect they all have their own little talent and skills that make them so unique to me ❤️ #proudmom